Age ain't nothing but a number

A few weeks ago at work, one of the Jewel baggers who is mentally handi-capped (yes, that is relevant to the story) asked me my age. Being the wonderfully sarcastic person I am, I told her I was pushing 40, laughing inside at my obvious comedic abilities as it was such ridiculously funny answer. Much to my dismay, she believed me! Shame on me for teasing those less fortunate. As I stood there sputtering trying to figure out if my crows feet were not as ever-so-slight as I had thought she tried to make me feel better by saying, "Don't worry... you could pass for 27." Please note, reader, I am 26!



So what have I learned from this hard life lesson besides do not make sarcastic comments to those less fortunate than you less you want to be knocked on your ass? I have learned this: I am getting older. Granted, I still have lots of years ahead of me, but the truth of the matter is I have a lot I want to accomplish! In my 26 years on this earth I feel I have done very little and time's a wastin'! So, without any further ado I give you the list of things I want to tackle by my 27th birthday (drum roll please!):



1. Go back to school and get certified to become a teacher.


My current job, while it has some good points (i.e. it pays the bills!), is not really the best fit. When I was younger, I pictured my life quite the same as my mother's... a homemaker. BUT, that is not happening anytime soon (since being a mom isn't really a high paying or at all paying gig) I am sure I would enjoy the next best thing and that is teaching wee little ones. You heard me, WEE LITTLE ONES! No older than grade 2 because after that they just become snot-nosed-brat monsters and who wants to deal with that?! I know, I am going to be a great mother some day.



2. Eat healthy.



I do not do a terrible job of it now, but there is always room for improvement. Like, for example, maybe not polishing off that thing of ice cream when I am craving it like a crazy pregnant woman about to give birth to triplets. My focus will be healthy food choices, which will not be easy, but it is something I want to do... a lifestyle change I want to make and know I will feel better about myself for it. Which brings me to #3...



3. Find a form of exercise that I enjoy that I can do at least three times a week.



I hate working out. It might be the most awful thing in the world. Next to standing in line at the DMV. And Hannah Montanna. Ack! But if I could find something I enjoy doing that would make me so happy! And then I would want to do it! And that would help me with goal 4!



4. Lose my final 20 lbs that have stubbornly stayed put through diet, exercise, and yes... starvation!



As it says above, I have tried and tried again to lose this last 20 lbs. But, they just hang in there like the annoying relative at a family party who hangs in the corner, bugging the shit out of you, refusing to leave. GO AWAY! I have come to terms with the fact that the only way those stubborn fat sacks are going to vacate is if I truly work at it by eating healthy and exercising them on out the door.



5. Landscape!



I own a house. In my opinion it is a very lovely house. And since my opinion is always spot on you can be sure 'tis true. However, my very lovely house is missing something. A few somethings. Somethings green and pretty and foundation-view-blocking. Brian and I have discussed this several times. But, since I do not have a green thumb at all, in fact I am pretty sure it is a black thumb- as in thumb of death, this whole idea of landscaping is intimidating. I do not know the first thing about any of it. But I am a smart cookie (mmm, cookies... oh wait! crap... that's not a healthy food) so I am sure after a bit of research B and I could have it looking pretty lovely out front.



6. Remove the clutter.



You would be surprised the amount of crap that builds up when you own a house. I have so much stuff that I am not sure what to do with, so I keep it, but it really serves no purpose. I would like to do a clean sweep, find a place for the stuff I need, donate the stuff I don't, and junk the junk!



7. Have a girls night out twice a month.



It is a sad fact, but true, that I rarely see my friends. We are all so busy with our lives that it is hard to make time for each other. This makes me sad. I love my friends. I miss my friends. I need my friends. I am a happy, healthier person when they are more involved in my life and it shows. I would like to think I bring some of that to their lives too. Little do they know I will soon be mandating GIRLS NIGHT OUT!



8. Learn to change the oil in my car.



As it stands right now, I either take the car to Jiffy Lube or have my Daddy do it. But Jiffy Lube costs money and Daddy has a life and damnit I need to learn these things! Plus, I think it is hot when chicks know how to do dude stuff better than a dude.



9. Brush up on my Spanish.



My degree is in Spanish Business and Translation. Once upon a time I could probably hold a conversation in Spanish, now a days... not so much. It's funny, when you do not practice something it sort of leaks out of your head and makes you look stupid when you are in an interview and they ask in Spanish if you are fluent in Spanish and you don't know what they said even though you have a degree in translation! Not that has ever happened to me...



10. My last goal is private, but I did not want to leave you thinking I only had 9 goals because who really stops at 9? Perhaps in the future I will share with you this 10th goal, but for now it will remain in my heart.



So there is it! 10... well ok, fine... 9 things to get under my belt by April 1, 2010. Easy sqeezey-lemonpeezy. Whatever that means. Wish me luck, folks, I am in for a bumpy ride!